It has been a wonderful time with my boyfriend. Of course, my relationship is not always the best. I’m not a great girlfriend and I do not have a perfect boyfriend. Along the line, there are lessons I have learned that have made our relationship strong.
It is my interest to share the things I learned from my boyfriend with you. Maybe you can learn something new too.
Communication is Key to Healthy, Loving Relationships
Research was carried out to show the impact of communication on couples. The results showed that couples who engage in positive communication regularly are happier and more satisfied with each other than those who do not. This shows that communication is key.
Do not expect your partner to read your mind. Do not get frustrated that your partner does not understand you. Instead of just getting frustrated, express yourself respectfully and honestly. If you feel that you cannot talk at the moment, you can schedule it for another time. This will give you something to talk about later. True love feels different than casual relationships when you do so.
In my relationship, I learned that communication is the key to a successful union. We have argued over certain things and I can certainly say that communication helped to resolve the arguments and clear the air. In fact, communication has helped to prevent future conflicts from happening. Our goals have also been clarified because of good communication. It has drawn us closer to each other like never before.
My boyfriend and I have not always had good communication and I must say for myself that I do not have the skill. But he was patient to help me develop it. He taught me the importance of listening attentively. What is communication when you’re not understood? He told me that if I listen effectively, then I will have something more meaningful and polite to say. And guess what? It worked.
He also taught me that I didn’t always have to act on impulse. I didn’t always have to react to what people say or how they say it. Instead, I should react with empathy even when it is hard. Doing that will prevent a problem from escalating. When the other person sees that I take personal responsibility for my wrongs, it fosters good communication and it makes us strong.
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Compromise and Understanding Strengthen Bonds
Compromise is also vital. It doesn’t mean it’s always concerned with agreement. It means you respect your partner’s feelings. It breeds empathy because you are trying to understand the other person’s feelings. It also shows you are selfless and not trying to please yourself at your partner’s expense.
Compromise is a great sacrifice in a relationship but it is beneficial. And the sacrifice is mutual, not one-sided. There’s no need to concern yourself with who wins and who loses. It prevents couples from drifting apart. It doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself; you can still maintain your identity and values. It shows you are putting the other person ahead of yourself. You should be ready to compromise if you are thinking of staying in your relationship and helping it grow.
To compromise and understand each other is one of the things I learned from my boyfriend. This is not something that easily comes by. This is a matter of I need something and you need something different. But thankfully, we have been able to adjust to each other’s tone in order to maintain peace and love. Let me share with you a few examples.
For instance, I sleep early because I think it is healthy. But my boyfriend sleeps late. And he wants us to spend so much time together. At first, I was upset and felt like he didn’t care about my feelings but we decided to talk it out. We had to meet in the middle. I decided to spend an extra hour with him to make him happy and he was also able to adjust and accept my opinion.
Another important area we’ve had a win-win situation is in the area of family. I love talking with my family, even inviting them over and sometimes, without his permission. He didn’t like it. This meant we had to learn to deal with it. What we concluded was I can call them on a regular basis. I can even invite them over but I’ll have to seek his consent before doing so.
A last example I will share is in the area of responsibilities. Of course, he is the head and he takes care of the finances while I do the cooking. But we’ve decided to share. That means he can assist me in cleaning and cooking on days when I’m ill and I can also assist him with finance when I have.
Having this understanding has made us equal and closer than before.
Laughing Together Lightens Life’s Load
There is a saying that a cheerful heart is good medicine and a cheerful heart can be achieved with humor. A good sense of humor can attract the other person and overcome any awkwardness along the way. Humor can make partners come back to each other refreshed. It can help in the resolution of conflict, disagreements and arguments that can happen even in the strongest unions.
Humor can trigger positive emotions such as laughter, joy, excitement and pleasure. These positive emotions will in turn counteract any negative emotions that may be lurking around. And one good thing about laughter is that it is contagious – hearing someone laugh can make you laugh.
It is not new that humor can help form stronger bonds with people. It can smooth out differences and diffuse tension. A good sense of humor can even relieve stress and elevate mood. You don’t have to live a boring life together and you don’t even have to be funny. All that matters is your partner spends time with you and sprinkles a little fun. It is not out of place if you can tease your partner.
My boyfriend and I can be playful when the need arises. Even when I am tensed or am about to explode, he knows how to say something that will arouse that positive feeling in me and I have been taught to do the same. During the time we spend together, we have had opportunities to laugh and play and I have discovered that this eases the burdens off our shoulders.
There was one day when I was chatting with him on the phone and he was away. We were discussing something important. But along the way, he sent me a ‘meme’ and what was written on it was: ‘life is too short, spend it with a tall guy’. I laughed a lot and sent him an emoji and he responded.
Sometimes we tell stories and jokes and just play around it like kids. We could see something funny, maybe a video or a picture, or maybe it’s something someone said and tell each other. It was always fun to do that!
Loving Couples Support Partner’s Dreams
Would you share your life with someone when you think of how supportive that person is? Of course. Imagine if you are pursuing a career on your own and your partner becomes your best cheerleader. Your partner always celebrates your achievements and encourages you when you feel down. Truly, you will be motivated and inspired to do more and it will boost your confidence. For instance, if you have a presentation at work and your partner helps you rehearse and even gives you a few tips of how to do better, that would mean a lot, wouldn’t it?
It is not bad if you and your partner have different personal and professional goals. Your dreams may be different from each other. This is the time when you need to share your dreams and goals and discuss how to achieve them. You work, not as rivals or competitors, but as allies and a team. Your partner should support you. Let me give you an example.
As a graduate of Business Administration, I never thought I’d be anywhere near freelancing. A friend of mine introduced me to the business and I liked it. I discussed it with my boyfriend and shared my fears with him (that I had no experience and I didn’t know if it would work) and he sympathized with me. He reminded me that I would never get anything done unless I tried.
He encouraged me to exert myself and pick up the stake. He assured me that if I was diligent, patient, and determined, I would get there. I listened to him. I watched videos on freelancing and opened an account. But the startup with discouraging. High impressions, no clicks. My boyfriend continued to encourage me during these times. He kept telling me I could it and I shouldn’t give up. Later on, I landed my first client which got me some amount of money. I was so grateful that he gave me the push I needed and supported me when I needed him the most.
This is just one of the ways my boyfriend had believed me and he has also taught me to do the same for him. When he told me his plan for the future, and how he wanted to learn things, I supported him and I always commend him for his bold stand. This has strengthened our relationship and I know that if someone else tries it, it will do the same.
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Enjoy the Little Things
Amongst the things I learned from my boyfriend, I learnt to find joy in our small moments. These have grown to be beautiful memories. I have learned to appreciate things that will give me joy. Sometimes, I just sit back and recall these memories play out like a nicely shot film and it fills my heart with joy.
As I take a step back and realize how far we’ve come, I am filled with happiness. Little things like enjoying the sunset together, taking a walk, seeing the beach or a game together, and having fun with friends can be memorable. By taking time to appreciate these moments, we turn the ordinary into a delight.
Small joys can take a special place in one’s heart and can be treasured for the rest of our lives. They can shape our memories and remind us of how rich our experience is. These small joys can grow bigger and mean more in the scope of your relationship.
There have been special moments in my relationship. For instance, every time I hug my boyfriend, he always feels warm and I love that. Hearing his charming voice is also a delight. It’s fun to cuddle all night and be together. It is a delight when we meet new people. These are not overwhelming things but they still matter and these little things add spice to our relationship. I remember my boyfriend telling me I have just one life to live so I should explore it to the fullest.
Build a Relationship You’re Proud Of
There is no doubt that relationships contribute to our happiness. I know how hard it is but it can be enjoyed once you nurture and build it the way you want. Relationships are like plants. If you want a plant to be healthy, you put in the work – water, sunshine, and fertilizers. Putting in the work in your relationship will give you the result you need and help fix things up. The following things below are things I’ve learned so far.
Trust your partner. Without these, nothing well and good will last long. There will be fights but when you truly love someone, you learn from the fight and forgive your partner. Ensure you don’t hold anything against your partner. Do not expect anything from anyone. Fights are inevitable in relationships, even if those relationships lasted for years. Try to diffuse the situation because little misunderstandings can become problems if you let them grow bigger.
You don’t have to sacrifice your dreams and aspirations to please your partner. You may get constructive criticism but that is way better than telling you what you want to hear. A loving relationship is one where you know you are part of a team. You have weaknesses, it’s ok to let these show but don’t capitalize on them.
The best relationships begin with encouragement. True love is unconditional. Remember that it is you and your partner vs. the problem and not your partner vs. you. Learn to love yourself too. When you love yourself, you can love another. The way you treat yourself will move you to treat others the same way. That’s the golden rule. A serious relationship is not void of boundaries. Healthy boundaries are set to make things work out.
I am very grateful for the things I learned from my boyfriend. Some of them he taught me himself, others I learned from actions. I appreciate his honesty and patience. I appreciate his willingness to come down to my level and explain with a real relationship is. And I like the fact that he is not a hypocrite – at least, he practices what he preaches.
It has been a rollercoaster for us – laughter, pain, joys and tears. But one thing that stands out is that we are not going to leave each other. We will remain loyal and faithful forever.
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